How to Get Pregnant: Trying to Conceive Naturally

To get pregnant, have regular sex around the fertile window, the roughly six days ending on the day of ovulation, while looking after a few preconception basics like folic acid and a healthy weight. It is more straightforward than the internet makes it feel. Before our IVF years, I spent months convinced I was getting the timing wrong; what I actually needed was a clear picture of how conception works and when ordinary trying tips into something worth checking. This is that picture.

When you are most fertile: the fertile window

Your most fertile days are the fertile window: the six days that end on the day of ovulation. The reason is biology of survival. Sperm can live inside the body for up to five days, while a released egg survives only about 12 to 24 hours, so sex in the days leading up to ovulation is what most often results in pregnancy. The day of ovulation and the two days before it carry the highest chance.

Ovulation usually happens around 12 to 16 days before your next period starts, not on a fixed calendar date. If your cycles are regular this is fairly predictable; if they are irregular, the window moves, which is why rigid date-counting let me down for months. Knowing roughly when you ovulate matters most if your cycles are long, short, or unpredictable. For how that changes over the years, see age and fertility.

How often to have sex

Aim to have sex every two to three days across the whole cycle. This is the single most useful thing most couples can do, because keeping a fresh supply of sperm present means the timing takes care of itself whenever you ovulate. The NHS advises exactly this, and notes it works as well for most couples as trying to pinpoint the precise day.

The reason this matters is as much emotional as practical. Scheduling sex to a single “perfect” day turns trying to conceive into a high-stakes performance, and that pressure is corrosive over months. Every two to three days, no calendar alarms, is sustainable. If you do want more precision, ovulation predictor kits detect the hormone surge about 24 to 36 hours before ovulation, but they are an optional extra, not a requirement.

Preconception health: folic acid, weight, smoking and alcohol

Look after a short list of preconception basics before and while you try. The most important is folic acid: take 400 micrograms daily while trying and until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy, because it lowers the risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida that form in the first weeks, often before a pregnancy is confirmed. Some people need a higher dose, so ask your GP if you have diabetes, take certain medicines, or have had an affected pregnancy.

A few other things genuinely move the needle, and the evidence is clear rather than wishful:

• Stop smoking. Smoking lowers fertility in both partners and is linked to a longer time to conceive.
• Keep alcohol low. The NHS advice when trying for a baby is to avoid alcohol to keep risk to a developing pregnancy to a minimum.
• Aim for a healthy weight. Being significantly under or over a healthy BMI can disrupt ovulation and reduce fertility.

I will be honest: there is a lot of “miracle” advice online that is not backed by evidence. The boring list above is the part that actually counts. For the wider picture, see diet and lifestyle for fertility.

How long it normally takes

Trying for a baby usually takes months, not one attempt, and that is entirely normal. About 8 in 10 couples having regular unprotected sex conceive within a year, and around 9 in 10 within two years. So if it has not happened in the first few cycles, that alone is not a sign something is wrong.

Age shifts the maths. Chances per cycle are highest in your 20s and early 30s and decline more noticeably from the late 30s, which is why the same year of trying carries more weight the older you are. Thinking in cumulative terms over several months, rather than judging each single cycle, kept me far saner than the month-by-month rollercoaster did.

When to see a doctor

See your GP if you are under 35 and have been trying for a year, or if you are 35 or over and have been trying for six months. These thresholds exist because fertility is time-sensitive, and getting assessed sooner protects your options. Do not wait out the full window if you have a known reason to act earlier: irregular or absent periods, conditions such as PCOS or endometriosis, previous pelvic infection or surgery, or any concern about sperm.

This is the part I most want to pass on, because I quietly waited too long. Seeing your GP is not an overreaction; it usually starts with simple checks for both partners. For what those involve and how to start the conversation, read when to see a doctor about fertility.

This guide is general information and support, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you are trying to conceive or worried about your fertility, please speak to your GP or a fertility specialist about your own situation.