Reciprocal IVF, her egg and my womb, and my wife is far more anxious in this two week wait than I am. Normal?

We're doing reciprocal IVF. My wife Sam did the injections and the collection in September, and I had the transfer on Sunday of one of her embryos. So it's her egg, donor sperm, and I'm the one carrying, if it works.

Here's the bit I didn't expect. I'm weirdly calm. She is climbing the walls. She keeps asking me how I feel every hour, she's read every forum thread going, and last night she said she feels like she did all the hard bit and now has no control over anything, it's all happening "inside someone else". Then felt terrible for saying it.

Has anyone else had the partner be the anxious one? We're married so all the legal stuff is fine, it's purely the emotional side I'm asking about.

Very normal. Not reciprocal for us but my husband was the wreck in two of our four waits. I think the person not carrying has nothing physical to do, so all the energy goes into worry.

What she said about "inside someone else" is so honest. Maybe give her a job. My husband did the injections calendar and the pessary reminders and said it was the only thing that stopped him feeling like a spare part.

Ban the hourly "how do you feel" question, kindly. Symptoms in the wait tell you nothing either way, and being asked about them all day makes you start inventing them. Agree one check in each evening instead.

Sat down with her last night and read her your replies. She laughed at "spare part" and then cried a bit and said yes, that's it exactly. She's now in charge of my progesterone timings and the evening check in, and we've agreed no forums after 9pm for either of us. Which I'm currently breaking, so goodnight.

Positive. Blood test confirmed it yesterday. Sam was the one holding the test this time and she read it before me, which felt right. Early scan booked for early November. We're trying very hard not to get ahead of ourselves.